The Bank Manager with a Mortician’s Touch
Funsink breathes life into business
Often in life, when faced with financial hardships, we are forced to take on two or three jobs. While others will explore the wilderness looking for anyone who will listen to their tales of woe. Mr Turquoise Funsink, Manager at The Bank, tired of hearing the same story from his customers, wondered if he could help. He reasoned that, with more money, and a good idea his clients could start their own small sideline businesses.
Mr Funsink saw entrepreneurs spend every cent in developing their ideas. He watched them embrace their failures and successes. Some mortgaged their homes, sold their possessions, and borrowed just to get their ideas off the ground. He wondered: what if everyone had those same entrepreneurial traits?
The bank manager knew ideas were everywhere, they just needed energy. Those with limited knowledge think that ‘the idea’ is the most important thing and aim to sell it. But he watched as countless ideas disappeared once they needed real energy to propel them forward. He would supply that real energy and embrace those entrepreneurs who struggled at first base.
What if, as bank manager, he could loan money to help them generate small businesses? The thought of building the loan department stayed with him for weeks. And not just The Bank’s profits, he could also enjoy a small business on the side, and also help his clients achieve success. This gem of an idea got Mr Funsink excited. Very excited. Extra income for him and his clients. After some research, he found a hole in the market.
He aimed to develop a business in which individuals could realise their potential. The concept was not new, and had already been done with gardening, cleaning and hairdressing. He saw opportunities in the funeral business but new the industry would not appreciate it. Home morticians entering the market would be seen as a major disruption.
Ground Breaking Idea
A true entrepreneur knows challenges will present themselves along the way and, with that in mind, he proposed his ground breaking idea. He would sift through his clients who had loans and needed help. He would introduce this groundbreaking idea to them. Then loan money. He would train them, with the help of a former mortician, and allow them to develop their offshoots, just like any multi level marketing business (MLM) but with much more potential.
Business Idea – ‘A No-Brainer’
In addition to owning their own business, they would also acquire accessories such as the Funsink Handy Carry Bag, the Funsink Mortician’s Suit, and the Funsink Upright Trolley (FUT)). He would create, build and sell. His ideas were endless and once his ‘morties’, as he would call his MLM downline, started making profit, he planned to introduce many more new products to help them expand their businesses. They could then sign up their relatives and friends, who, first as customers, would also realise the earning potential and become home morticians.
Mr Funsink stood to make a considerable profit, all while helping his banking customers realise their own personal goals. With his first sixty entrepreneurs, he held training sessions on the top floor at The Bank. One loudmouth, at his MLM meeting, called out, “Not much fun if it sinks.” Turquoise was very good at slaying negative sayers and marched him off the premises. That action gained applause from the real entrepreneurs who knew that the business model would work. It was up to each person to grow their own business, and Mr Funsink was always there to help. He even created a mortician dance to relax his trainees. His quirky sense of humour delighted his franchisees. The business was a no-brainer.
A Vision Available to All
After finishing their training and receiving their graduation certificates, the new morties claimed their geographical territories. He would then loan an additional twenty-five percent of the money for their personal videos and equipment, which he himself produced. He showed examples of the video and, if they didn’t feel comfortable presenting they could rent his video.
Turquoise was very excited at the interest and, like any entrepreneur, expanded into developing more products. The Gold standard seemed to attract the most interest. Even though it was more expensive, they realised his vision. Plus, it required they take out a bigger loan.
As bank manager, he was ecstatic and could feel the potential in his bones. He walked, ate and dreamed – home mortician. He and his morties were ready to make history.
At the arrival of sixty new businesses on the market at the same time, there was mayhem. He explained that challenges were part of any new disruptive business.
The Spirit of Competition
The first challenge came in week one: only twenty people passed away. Competition became fierce as his morties overtook the town. Often there were more morties at a funeral than actually mourners – all handing out business cards for future business. This did not impress the established funeral homes or the grieving family and friends of the deceased.
“That’s the nature of business,” he’d tell his teams – “grasp the opportunity
Soon they were travelling throughout the state to claim their new territories. He also suggested that they hand out more phamplets and business cards. They respected his guidance and they started talking to relatives, friends, former friends, new friends, and hospitals. Mr Funsink’s extensive marketing experience was apparent throughout the training – after all, he was a bank manager. And very soon his infectious enthusiasm caught on and his morties began to walk, eat and dream – home mortician.
There was also significant interest from established funeral homes, local government, state government, the police, and health inspectors.“That’s the nature of business,” Mr Funsink replied.
“That’s the nature of business,” his downline chirped.
